Who Let the Dogs Out?
Well, if you'd stop your Whooping for just a second I'd inform you that,on Monday, they, in fact, let themselves out. I'm not talking in a cute self-sufficient dog-door they go-out-as-they-please way, or in an Internet traveling e-crap directly into your computer's recycle bin Aibo way either. I'm talking about opening doors like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park. We live on a very dangerous road and we don't want them to get outside. Our road is busy, narrow, and our section has no sidewalk and low visibility because of a hill. It'd be great fun for sledding on until you were cut to shreds by early morning rush hour. We've known our bigger dog could open the gate to our back fence and we stupidly thought that tying the gate closed with twine would be enough to keep them in. Our dog must come from a Nautical background (or at least must love the taste of twine) because as I was printing out some 1040EZ's on Monday I saw them run into the neighbor's yard.
Irritated and a little worried, my friend and I went outside to try to wrangle them back to our yard like that Twilight Princess mini-game (Whoops a plenty). With a pocket full of treats I began my search and soon found our little dog, Bella; however, Jesse was nowhere in sight. I picked Bella up and trotted over to our yard to put her safely inside.
The sequence of sounds that happened next are burned into my memory: The screech of brakes being slammed on, a sickening thud, an "Oh shit!," the yelps and whines of my dog in pain, and my final but futile WHOOP!
I told my friend, "Fuck. Jesse's hit. Go," and we both ran up to the street to find her. I didn't want to see her because I was expecting something straight out of Rodriguez's Planet Terror, some sprawling mess of guts and gore. In the 20 seconds between hearing the horrible sounds and reaching my dog my mind began to oscillate around a set of lows and highs in a way that even I'd have trouble putting into a Roller Coaster metaphor. I'd grasp for silver-linings thinking, Well at least we won't have to buy as much dog food anymore. I'd shoot blame at myself along the lines of If I hadn't wasted so much time getting Bella in I could've gotten to her. I'd just pray she wasn't dead. The sight of her looking back at me in pain put me in a huge low, but also reassured me that her injuries weren't too bad.
I've been playing a lot of Mario vs DK 2: March of the Minis recently and so I think that's why I'm quick to use it for explanation. Jesse and Bella were like two Minis on the move. Bella was tottering along an easy path and so I focused my stylus swiping to setting her up near the elevator door. Jesse on the other hand needed to be guided through the biggest onslaught of Gorilla Minis, Fire Wheels, Piranha Plants, and Shy Guys which I hadn't been totally aware of. So of course she had been immobilized. The thing about MvDK2:MotM is that there is no reason to send your Minis to the goal unless they all get there in an orderly chain for the highest combo score and Jesse, the Golden Mario, wasn't given enough attention. Fortunately, in the game there is a reset option in life there are dog hospitals.
We rushed her to the vet's office in my friend's car. I'd lifted her like she was a dog made out of paper and she seemed to be fine with only a cut over her eye and a bum leg. The vet said she was in a lot of shock and that her hip might have been dislocated, she was lucky though and they'd call me when they found out anything more.
Being in a situation like that puts your low points in perspective. Sure you feel like shit for letting it happen, but you also are the one who acted cool and got help. The adrenaline rush gets you feeling like a Superman. Then at home you are just waiting and dreading for a phone call with bad news. That's when I, of course, turned on the news and saw the stuff about VA Tech. Talk about taking your newly found sense of perspective, chewing it up, and then spitting it into a spittoon and then planting it in your garden, watering it, and watching it sprout into a tree and then eating the fruit from the tree only to find a worm (like the worm from the Bookworm flash games) in the fruit that tells you all about what lows really are. Here I was dreading some phone call about my dog's well being when 26,000 parents were all waiting for phone calls to find out if their children had survived. And yet I was so shaken from the dog experience I couldn't do much but feel more concern for Jesse (She's fine by the way, she can't walk to well and is pretty out of it, but she didn't sustain any major injuries).
Life is a roller coaster and Blogs are like Cedar Point. They catalog the ups and downs of our day with cool metaphors and emoticons (sometimes links and pictures if I wasn't lazy). The best we can hope to do is ride them, hold on for dear life and when coming out of a wicked loop yell out a big ol' Whoop!
Irritated and a little worried, my friend and I went outside to try to wrangle them back to our yard like that Twilight Princess mini-game (Whoops a plenty). With a pocket full of treats I began my search and soon found our little dog, Bella; however, Jesse was nowhere in sight. I picked Bella up and trotted over to our yard to put her safely inside.
The sequence of sounds that happened next are burned into my memory: The screech of brakes being slammed on, a sickening thud, an "Oh shit!," the yelps and whines of my dog in pain, and my final but futile WHOOP!
I told my friend, "Fuck. Jesse's hit. Go," and we both ran up to the street to find her. I didn't want to see her because I was expecting something straight out of Rodriguez's Planet Terror, some sprawling mess of guts and gore. In the 20 seconds between hearing the horrible sounds and reaching my dog my mind began to oscillate around a set of lows and highs in a way that even I'd have trouble putting into a Roller Coaster metaphor. I'd grasp for silver-linings thinking, Well at least we won't have to buy as much dog food anymore. I'd shoot blame at myself along the lines of If I hadn't wasted so much time getting Bella in I could've gotten to her. I'd just pray she wasn't dead. The sight of her looking back at me in pain put me in a huge low, but also reassured me that her injuries weren't too bad.
I've been playing a lot of Mario vs DK 2: March of the Minis recently and so I think that's why I'm quick to use it for explanation. Jesse and Bella were like two Minis on the move. Bella was tottering along an easy path and so I focused my stylus swiping to setting her up near the elevator door. Jesse on the other hand needed to be guided through the biggest onslaught of Gorilla Minis, Fire Wheels, Piranha Plants, and Shy Guys which I hadn't been totally aware of. So of course she had been immobilized. The thing about MvDK2:MotM is that there is no reason to send your Minis to the goal unless they all get there in an orderly chain for the highest combo score and Jesse, the Golden Mario, wasn't given enough attention. Fortunately, in the game there is a reset option in life there are dog hospitals.
We rushed her to the vet's office in my friend's car. I'd lifted her like she was a dog made out of paper and she seemed to be fine with only a cut over her eye and a bum leg. The vet said she was in a lot of shock and that her hip might have been dislocated, she was lucky though and they'd call me when they found out anything more.
Being in a situation like that puts your low points in perspective. Sure you feel like shit for letting it happen, but you also are the one who acted cool and got help. The adrenaline rush gets you feeling like a Superman. Then at home you are just waiting and dreading for a phone call with bad news. That's when I, of course, turned on the news and saw the stuff about VA Tech. Talk about taking your newly found sense of perspective, chewing it up, and then spitting it into a spittoon and then planting it in your garden, watering it, and watching it sprout into a tree and then eating the fruit from the tree only to find a worm (like the worm from the Bookworm flash games) in the fruit that tells you all about what lows really are. Here I was dreading some phone call about my dog's well being when 26,000 parents were all waiting for phone calls to find out if their children had survived. And yet I was so shaken from the dog experience I couldn't do much but feel more concern for Jesse (She's fine by the way, she can't walk to well and is pretty out of it, but she didn't sustain any major injuries).
Life is a roller coaster and Blogs are like Cedar Point. They catalog the ups and downs of our day with cool metaphors and emoticons (sometimes links and pictures if I wasn't lazy). The best we can hope to do is ride them, hold on for dear life and when coming out of a wicked loop yell out a big ol' Whoop!
posted by Matty at 1:07 PM
1 Comments:
That 4th bolded section from the bottom was really beautiful
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