Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' What!
Times I've realized that I'm pretty fat:
1) Upon recieving my full rack of Jack Daniel's Saucey Rib-o-rama from TGIFridays I said to the waitress, "Whoo boy there is no way in hell I can eat all of these ribs." Of course I devoured them and didn't even feel full so when the waitress came back and saw my totally clean plate I had to pretend to be stuffed and not want dessert even though I wanted the Mocha Cream Cheesecake Sundae really badly.
2) I am trying to stop drinking so many soft drinks to get back the rock hard abs I used to have in my Lacrosse days. Since I've cut out like 1,000 calories of my daily diet I've been snacking on Lil' Debbies and Airheads all throughout the day to compensate. My poop's been smelling funnier too.
3) Just tonight I went to this place called The Vortex in Hotlanta and I got a burger called "The Coronary By-pass," which is a burger with bacon, cheese, and a huge fried egg on it. Yeah, I finished it in like 3 minutes and wasn't full at all, in fact I think it was such an improvement over my normal diet that my arteries unclogged some because I was coughing up this nasty blood all night.
If TV tells us anything though it's that even the fattest of grossies can get some bangin' milf wives if they can star in their own sitcom. Power to ya, King o' Queens. Peace out.
1) Upon recieving my full rack of Jack Daniel's Saucey Rib-o-rama from TGIFridays I said to the waitress, "Whoo boy there is no way in hell I can eat all of these ribs." Of course I devoured them and didn't even feel full so when the waitress came back and saw my totally clean plate I had to pretend to be stuffed and not want dessert even though I wanted the Mocha Cream Cheesecake Sundae really badly.
2) I am trying to stop drinking so many soft drinks to get back the rock hard abs I used to have in my Lacrosse days. Since I've cut out like 1,000 calories of my daily diet I've been snacking on Lil' Debbies and Airheads all throughout the day to compensate. My poop's been smelling funnier too.
3) Just tonight I went to this place called The Vortex in Hotlanta and I got a burger called "The Coronary By-pass," which is a burger with bacon, cheese, and a huge fried egg on it. Yeah, I finished it in like 3 minutes and wasn't full at all, in fact I think it was such an improvement over my normal diet that my arteries unclogged some because I was coughing up this nasty blood all night.
If TV tells us anything though it's that even the fattest of grossies can get some bangin' milf wives if they can star in their own sitcom. Power to ya, King o' Queens. Peace out.
posted by Matty at 9:17 PM
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